Bibliomancy

Thich Nhat Hanh is my favorite Buddhist author. There is a quality of being that I really resonate with. I find his voice restful even. There are times when I feel troubled that I just get out one of his books and do some bibliomancy; that is I hold the book closed and let my finger glide along the edges of the clustered pages until I feel my energy spring and sink at once, indicating that my fingernail has a met a page with a right message for now.

This is a good spiritual practice. It is usually very useful to finding some instant teachings and comfort. I have done this for many years and always found it the right thing to do.

Today I grabbed three books. One was a book of meditations by Melody Beattie called Journey to the Heart. I opened a passage about saying good bye. That has certainly been the theme of my life in the past year or so. I’m a bit tired of that theme. Truly I am. I just sighed with this one and thought, yup. That’s where I am.

I took up the next book. Its a Sufi publication that is only available to initiates in general. Its called Nature Meditations. Murshid (master teacher) Inayat Khan write it. I opened this book to a passage about orange a color usually associated with the solar plexus. I thought…yup. That’s the crux of some other things going on in my life. I’m having some difficulty directing my life and in utilizing and controlling my focus and my energy toward accomplishment and good health.

I’m starting to feel irritated when I pick up Hanh’s book The Heart Of The Buddha’s Teachings. I don’t want to talk about where I am. I’m irritated and frustrated about where I am. I’m restless about it. I have struggled long and long in the same place and I cannot seem to get myself to stop…there’s a deep fear there. I know that. I don’t even want to voice it; its so big. I am struggling with it…I am facing it. I’m still managing to overcome the fear and move forward in the past couple weeks. Agonizingly incremental, nevertheless progress.

So, the book shows me a passage that says this:

The Twelve Turnings of the Wheel:

Suffering:

Recognition: This is suffering

Encouragement: Suffering should be understood.

Realization: Suffering is understood

Arising of Suffering:

Recognition: There is an ignoble way that has led to suffering.

Encouragement: Well-being should be obtained.

Realization: Wellbeing is obtained.

Cessation of Suffering:

Recognition: Well-being is possible.

Encouragement: Well-being should be obtained.

Realization: Well-being is obtained.

How Well-being Arises:

Recognition: There is a noble path that leads to well-being.

Encouragement: The noble path has to be lived.

Realization: This noble is being lived.

I can’t decide if I’m still irritated or not. The fact is, that it depends on which point/hurdle we’re discussing as to where I am on this list. In some areas of my life, I am at the final stage. I get it and I live it. Simple as that. With other things, I’m only just understanding some of the reasons I am where I am…that fear I’ve only recently identified for example. With still other things I am somewhere in the middle of the two. I am both encouraged that I’ve got more on the ball that I often fear and disappointed in myself that I’m not doing a whole lot better than I am. The truth is, I’m not living up to my potential.